Sometimes, the small moments hit me and I realize "wow, this is my life." Sometimes its a crazy moment like when all my kids are crying or whining at the same time and juice is being spilt in the back seat of my car. The special ones like cleaning up vomit or being pooped on. The moments when you can only find one shoe or can't find the brush. Wondering why EVERY diaper you try leaks through? The usual moments when you can't find the keys or trying to figure out what to add to the macaroni to make it different because you've feed it to your kids 3 days in a row. Fishing things out of the toilet or explaining to your child, once again, why you don't spit at people or pick up ants and squish bugs.
Sometimes its the small moments like sitting out in the backyard with the sun shining and seeing Kassidy silently picking flowers from the grass. Listening to the birds sing in the morning or the geese fly overhead. Watching Brayden smile while he's sleeping. Rylee occasionally bending over to sneak a kiss from Kassidy. Those moments are great and I wish they can be bottled.
Lately, the best moments seem to be the time I spend in the shower, alone. Alone, with no kids, no crying, no whining, no cooking or cleaning, changing diapers. Sometimes I feel like a milking cow. I guess that's why I take such long showers! The other day, I was able to sneak out of the house with no kids in tow. I was tempted to keep driving but I knew Paul would be calling sooner or later freaking out because he can't get the baby to stop crying. So, here I was driving down the street. I rolled my windows down, turned the radio up and danced like no one was watching. I laughed at myself because 10 years ago I was always doing this but now, I guess you just forget how things used to be when life was so carefree. I loved it and I'll make a habit of sneaking out more often. Because dancing with your kids and dancing alone is totally different.
Am I the only one who has more moments of chaos than moments of bliss? I think not, but then again, I have friends that seem to have the perfect life, the perfect patience and the perfect undivided attention to her family. I know she has her moments too, some just as bad as mine. I love all my moments...
You are a great sister. And a great mother. I miss you and think of you all of the time.
ReplyDeleteMostly chaos here, too. I definitely feel overwhelmed and un-put-together!
Keep on truckin'. You're the absolute ONLY person invented that can do exactly what you do, and handle exactly what you handle. That makes you special.